As I was growing up I learned to
dislike two of my cousins. They were
pleasant enough people and we had fun when they babysat me. However, they were known for mooching off
their mom. They followed a pattern of
moving out, getting a job, living with a girlfriend, losing the job, getting in
trouble for drugs, and moving back in with mom.
She would let them stay there rent-free for as long as they wanted
to. Then the pattern would repeat. My aunt was a bus driver and lived in gov’t
subsidized housing. She often had
trouble paying her bills. Other relatives lamented about how the boys
were taking advantage of her. Now, as a
mom, I can begin to imagine how hard it would be to turn your child away when
they had no place to live, but back then many of us kept telling her to ‘kick
their lazy buts out’.
Why was the family so upset about
this arrangement? After all, it was her
choice to take care of her children in whatever way she saw fit. I think it comes down to mind-set. The relatives that felt it was unjust were
the middle class folks who were working hard every day to pay their own
bills. They looked at my young, healthy
cousins and said – why should my tax dollars that I worked to earn go to pay
for you to do nothing? So, it was
personal. Not only were these boys
abusing their mom, but we were paying for it through welfare and food
stamps.
I believe that is what middle class
and rich people most often resent. It’s
not disability or social security benefits.
It’s not even food banks. They
don’t like working for money they never see that goes to pay for other people
to not work.
Now I know that this image of a lazy
person living off the public dole has been over-exaggerated and overused. As an example, in 2010, 73% of public aide
went to the elderly and the disabled. (See
chart from https://www.cbpp.org/research/contrary-to-entitlement-society-rhetoric-over-nine-tenths-of-entitlement-benefits-go-to)
The majority was not going to people who just didn’t want to work. Still, those people do exist and they give
the whole group a bad reputation.
As I expressed previously, the poor
live in a mindset of sharing to survive.
Their life is often in crisis not knowing what tomorrow will bring. If they have extra today they share it in
hopes that tomorrow someone will share with them. If sharing does not work they resort to
asking for help and seeking government assistance. That is how they make it from one day to the
next.
In contrast, the middle class survive
by working. If the paycheck does not cover
the expenses, they get another job or ask for more hours. They sell things or skip meals. They have been told that charity is for the
weak and all they have to do to survive is to work harder. It they are talented and lucky, they make it
up the rungs of their chosen profession and reach a salary where the bills are
paid and they have a little extra left over.
This is security, and security is important. It means you don’t have to live in fear of
foreclosure or bill collectors.
I’m not saying either of these
mindsets is superior. In fact they both
work to help people provide the basics of life for themselves. However, they are very different and this
causes conflict. When a jobless person
asks a struggling worker for some cash to pay their electric bill, the worker
thinks about how many hours he put in to get that money. He earned it.
He wonders why the jobless person can’t take care of himself and
subconsciously he feels threatened. What
if he gives that money away and can’t pay his own bills? He does not see it as sharing resources or
believe that someone else will take care of him later. He sees it as a threat to his security. So he says no. Then the confused jobless person walks away
confused and maybe even angry. This
friend has more than they need. Why
would they let me suffer?
Then we have to deal with jealousy
and justice. I currently have a bill for
over $1000 for some thyroid testing I needed.
Thankfully, insurance covered much of the cost, but I really don’t have
funds to pay this remainder and there may be more bills coming. It frustrates me that my insurance pulls over
$600 a month out of my pay and I still have bills I can’t cover. Then I look to my friends on Medicare. They don’t pay $500 to ride an
ambulance. They don’t pay $20-50 every
time they visit a doctor. They don’t
have to ask themselves if they can afford to get their child’s cavity
filled. It’s all paid for. (Benefits
vary by state, but this is what I have seen here)
So, yes, I get a little jealous.
It’s not fair that my tax dollars are covering their bills and what’s
leftover is not enough to pay mine. I’m
not angry at my friends, but I am angry at the system. However, I begin to realize that I would not
want to trade places. I’ve seen my
friends shuffled from doctor to doctor without diagnosis. Their medications are changed often based on
what Medicare will pay for. They get referred to a specialist out of town and have no transportation to get there. And I see them struggle daily
to keep a roof over their head and food on the table. Often I see them do it with a smile. Then I begin to realize that they don’t have
it easier than me and I don’t have it easier than them. We each struggle and we each live and if we
are lucky we do it with friends beside us to give joy to the journey.
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