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Thursday, November 30, 2017

Making Disciples is Messy

I grew up on the tail end of the "drag your friends to church" era.  We thought if we could just get people inside the walls then God could get ahold of them and fix everything - forgiveness, salvation, holiness... the whole package.  We had week long revivals and Sunday school campaigns.  I remember begging my friends to come with me so I could earn points and win prizes.  Thankfully, much of this nonsense has gone by the wayside because it was not effective and it was not truly making disciples.  Very few of my friends came back to church after their first visit.  They attended the party or the event to have fun or to make me happy but it was not a life transformation. 

Later, in high school I heard of something called relationship evangelism.  The idea was that instead of banging Bibles on people's heads, we could befriend them first and bring them into our lives.  Then, if they were interested or searching we would tell them about our faith and explain how they too could have God in their lives.  I'm pretty sure this is much more inline with how Jesus did it.  He met people, interacted with them, saw where their needs were and led them to the Father.  It wasn't about increasing the church role, it was about building relationships.

As an adult, I still believe in this approach.  Many people today are not impressed with fancy programs or contests.  Even if they are you will lose them the next time the church down the street has a glitzier show.  People are hurting and they need a friend, a person to walk with them and share the pain, someone to love them beyond their faults and cherish their strengths.  They need someone to point them to God when and if they are ready, but stay their friend regardless. 

This is a lot harder than planning the perfect event.  This is ...messy.

It may mean ignoring someone's clothes, body art, language, and behavior long enough to get to know them as a person.  It may mean giving them a ride or meeting some other physical need they have, not because you should or because you are richer, smarter, and better than them, but because you want to be their friend.

Discipleship does not mean turning someone into a mirror version of yourself.  They don't have to act, dress and talk like you to be God's friend.  They might have socially unacceptable behaviors and deep scars.  Maybe life has been pretty harsh on them.  They need us to try to understand, to take the time to see what life is like for them.  Then we have the right and privilege of pointing them to God.  Discipleship is the making of disciples.  It is saying - I'm following Christ, and here is how it works for me.  Would you like to join? 

Missionaries who go to other lands and try to make good little American Christians fail.  On the other hand, missionaries who value the culture of the people they meet and join into their lives as they are sharing the Gospel are much better received.  It is no different here in the states.  Why do we give people the idea that they have to get their lives all fixed up before they come to God?  Isn't he the ultimate healer?  Isn't it His job to sort out what in their lives needs changing?  Our job is only to love them and point the way. 

This discipleship takes time.  It may be a year before your friend feels safe enough to tell you why she cringes at the word church.  It may be months before that other friend even mentions a spiritual topic.  It doesn't matter, you are their friend.  Your friendship is not dependent on whether they ever put their name on the church role.  You are there to respect them and be part of their lives.  You will share Jesus with them just as you share other important things in your life and you will not turn your back on them.

One last thing - this messy evangelism/discipleship - it is humbling and eye opening as any good friendship should be.  You may find that the lady cursing during Bible study also has deep theological understanding.  You may find that the stinky person in old clothes is the hardest worker at the church bazaar.  You may hear the uneducated one reminding you to pray instead of worry.  You may find yourself begging God to forgive you for ever judging anyone.  I know I did. 

I'll close with a story.  When I was in middle school, my grand-parents divorced.  Many of the family ostracized my grandmother for some hateful things she had done.  There was a great rift and we did not visit her often.  A few years later I noticed that my mom was talking to grandma more and spending time with her.  Now my grandma was not always easy to get along with.  She could be selfish and demanding.  However, my mom told me that God had asked her to open up her heart to my grandma.  She had already forgiven her but now God was asking her to bridge the distance.  It was not comfortable at first but eventually my mom started to remember the things she liked about her own mother and the visits became more pleasant.  Months later, my grandma started attending church and some time after that she committed her life to God.  I believe she would never have taken that step without my mom's love and friendship. That's how making disciples is lived out.

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