Tuesday, April 21, 2015

OA - The Beginning

On Saturday, April 5th, 2014 at 2pm I joined Overeater's Anonymous and quit eating dessert.

 I just read a quote today that applies to me.  "Only a crisis -actual or perceived- produces real change." (Milton Friedman) 

In the weeks before April 5th, I had two realizations.  One happened when I conceded that I needed to go buy bigger pants.  I took the next large size to the dressing room and they were still tight.  Plus, they were tight in the knees.  'I have fat knees' I moaned.  I have always been round in the waist, hips, etc. and in recent years my stomach pooched out, but knees were a new embarrassment.  I think I cried that day. 

The second revelation was when I was eating a candy bar in the kitchen hoping not to be seen.  One of the girls came in and got something sweet for herself.  I realized that my children where adopting my eating habits which included 3-4 dessert type snacks a day.  I truly felt I was killing my precious girls. 

Those events were my crisis.  I did not want to continue down this road, but I did not know where to turn for help.  Luckily, God always intervenes when we need his guidance.  A childhood friend I had re-connected with on Facebook told me she had joined Overeater's Anonymous.  She shared some of her journey with me and encouraged me to look into it for myself.  I poked around the website and bought a book on my Kindle.  The book, Sweet Surrender, was one woman's story of healing through the twelve step program.  As I listened I knew this was for me.  My mind began to think about a starting date.  I mentally calculated the food in the kitchen and what things I wanted to eat before 'saying goodbye'.  Just then the author was talking about how she would binge before every diet to console herself.  I realized that was what I was doing and it sounded so stupid.  Right then, I looked at the clock and said goodbye to sweets.  I had no idea if I had the strength to abstain, but I knew I was desperate.  That moment began the first day of over a year of days lived one moment at a time. 

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