On Saturday, April 5th, 2014 at 2pm I joined Overeater's Anonymous and quit eating dessert.
I just read a quote today that applies to me. "Only a crisis -actual or perceived- produces real change." (Milton Friedman)
In the weeks before April 5th, I had two realizations. One happened when I conceded that I needed to go buy bigger pants. I took the next large size to the dressing room and they were still tight. Plus, they were tight in the knees. 'I have fat knees' I moaned. I have always been round in the waist, hips, etc. and in recent years my stomach pooched out, but knees were a new embarrassment. I think I cried that day.
The second revelation was when I was eating a candy bar in the kitchen hoping not to be seen. One of the girls came in and got something sweet for herself. I realized that my children where adopting my eating habits which included 3-4 dessert type snacks a day. I truly felt I was killing my precious girls.
Those events were my crisis. I did not want to continue down this road, but I did not know where to turn for help. Luckily, God always intervenes when we need his guidance. A childhood friend I had re-connected with on Facebook told me she had joined Overeater's Anonymous. She shared some of her journey with me and encouraged me to look into it for myself. I poked around the website and bought a book on my Kindle. The book, Sweet Surrender, was one woman's story of healing through the twelve step program. As I listened I knew this was for me. My mind began to think about a starting date. I mentally calculated the food in the kitchen and what things I wanted to eat before 'saying goodbye'. Just then the author was talking about how she would binge before every diet to console herself. I realized that was what I was doing and it sounded so stupid. Right then, I looked at the clock and said goodbye to sweets. I had no idea if I had the strength to abstain, but I knew I was desperate. That moment began the first day of over a year of days lived one moment at a time.